I get email newsletters from a Christian family magazine and this article was in the newsletter this month. It's a long read, but so inspiring. It goes to show that God creates families the way He sees fit, regardless of any redtape or politics. It gives us adoptive families a little bit of hope...
........................................................................................
Bonnie Walker, is a mother 26 children, 22 of whom are adopted, plus one more foster child which they are waiting on the paper work for final adoption!
Bonnie's vision is that every child in America receive a "forever family" and that the foster care system as we know it will be done away with. Her testimony is written as a prayer to the Lord.
To God, From Your Servant at Refuge Ranch
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Hello Father,
Well, on April 8th, You did it again! And I sound like the court official responding to our lawyer. When our lawyer said that she was there representing the Walkers for an adoption, the court official exclaimed, "Again?" Yes, again! One more time we finalized the adoption on four more little Walkers! One more time, we get to be called mama and daddy forever. One more time, four more children get the security of knowing that someone loves them enough to say, "I love you forever." "Adoption!" Such a precious word backed up by an eternity of Love! Abba, thank You for giving us Your heart about adoption. At 53, adopting a sibling group of four little ones, ages 3, 8, 10 and 11, [plus planning to adopt their baby brother, age 18 months, as soon as paperwork is completed] definitely wasn't on my agenda for my life, but I'm so glad that is was on Yours!
I have longed to tell their story, Your story, of their lives. So finally with new names and new birth certificates on the way, You can receive the Glory and Honor that's due you for Your miraculous workings.
Oh Father, where do I even begin? I guess at the beginning would be the best place. I remember 2005, Billy and I had semi-retired. The only reason that we wouldn't say we're finished is because You had given me a Scripture several times that there were yet seven to inherit the land. At this point in my life, I was open to having misunderstood You about exactly what that meant. No longer baby crazy, and somewhat weary, retirement seemed the way the wind was blowing. Oh how You must have laughed!
October 2008 I am teaching Worshipping Warriors (children's church) and in walk these two adorable little boys, Noah (8) and Daniel (6) who had just been placed in foster care for the 2nd time. My heart went out to these two little fellas and I began to shower them with love. But even I did not know that You had just introduced me to two of my new sons!
In December, the boys were returned to the biological parents. I missed them, was mad at the system that would return helpless children to such an environment, but resigned myself that there was nothing I could do. Then the first week in January, they were back in foster care and attending church again. Or at least they were sort of back! It took me the whole class period to coax just a partial smile out of Daniel. Both the boys were extremely traumatized and I wanted to choke the bureaucratic monster that allowed precious children to be so repeatedly mistreated!
Father, I remember that day so well! I had been fighting back tears all the way through class. Afterwards, I managed to get in the van before I burst into tears! Billy, not having any idea what had been going on asked, "What is it?" I blurted out, "I want those boys!" Then I explained how hurt and damaged they were and I couldn't stop crying. Noah and Daniel already had issues and behavioral struggles previously, but now everything was compounded several times over!
In March 2009, You added another piece to the puzzle. Older sister, sweet Menorah (9), was also placed in foster care and she too became very attached to me. Every service at church when the children were dismissed for children's church, I'd leave out of the sanctuary with Menorah under one arm and Noah under the other arm. I loved them so much, but still didn't know what You had planned. It's funny now, looking back. In my semi-retired state, I was very slow to read the writing on the wall. Usually, I always know way ahead of time when You're sending children! Not this time!
The boys continued to struggle emotionally. I didn't find out until later that Noah's biggest problem was going to parental visits, sitting in a room, roughly 8 x 10 foot in size, with the man that used to beat him sitting in the same room! Father, I just don't get it! No one would make an adult repeatedly stay in that close proximity with their abuser, yet our system requires it of a innocent child! Something is wrong with that equation! Something is very wrong!
Summer came and VBS arrived. One day while we were playing games outside, Menorah came over and sat with me. She looked at me and said, "I wish I could live at your house!" Even this I down played, assuring her that she probably wouldn't like it because my children have to work. She replied, "I'll work!" It still hadn't hit me, even then, what You were up to, Father. But I'm so thankful that Holy Spirit didn't stop talking!
In September of 2009, after class Noah walked up to me, wrapped his arms around my waist, looked up in my face and said, "I wish you were my mama!" My heart skipped a beat! Lord, what are You doing? By October, there was talk of removing Noah from the foster home and placing him in a children's group home. His behavior was progressively deteriorating and the foster mom couldn't handle any more. I immediately asked Billy if we could we get him, so at least he'd be close to his other siblings and get to see them at church. One of our passions has always been to keep siblings together as much as possible. This was possible! I called DFCS and put in our request. We began to get the usual runaround. Are you licensed? No, you have too many children under the age of 16, and the list went on and on. I was not deterred! I had been around, over, and through that bureaucratic mountain on more than one occasion. I have seen You work so many amazing miracles on behalf of children that no red tape was going to stop me from saving that precious little boy!
Well, the devil ain't no dummy. He saw Noah was about to be rescued, and he reared his ugly head. The next day, Noah had a melt down at school. He got upset and pitched a fit. Now, Lord, I know something needed doing, but I strongly disagree with what was done. The school called the police or DFCS. I've never been clear on who called whom, but the result was that an eight year old, terrified little boy was put in the back seat of a police car, and taken to DFCS! DFCS called the foster mom to bring his things and he was immediately transported to a children's group home one and a half hours away! He wasn't even allowed to say goodbye to his siblings!
You talk about a mad mama tiger, but I was furious and determined! I called DFCS the next morning and told them we'd do whatever it took to get Noah. Everyone was saying that it couldn't be done! I wrote in my journal to You, "Show them what You can do!" I cried, prayed, and could hardly sleep. I called everyone from here to the governor's mansion, and the whole time I kept seeing Noah's precious little face, afraid and crying.
Three days later, I had my word from You and confirmation! You let me know that You were on the way to help. Then you gave me Isaiah 54:2-4 again, telling me to "enlarge my tent." Father, I should have kept a record of the number of times You've used that verse to let me know more children were coming. Through a prophesy You informed me that there was no Plan B. . . that I was Your Plan A for Noah's life. With Joshua 3:5, You said, "Sanctify yourselves. Tomorrow God will work miracle-wonders among you." But still, I was tormented with some doubts and fears.
As I shared these concerns with a friend, they replied, "Bonnie, you have always gone straight into the Heavens, heard from God and not cared what anybody else said, ignoring the natural realm! You can't start operating out of fear and doubts now." Then they shared this revelation about Noah and his siblings that God had given during prayer. Noah in the Bible built an ark (a Refuge) for the saving of not just himself but his family. And that my Noah would pave the way for the other siblings to come to the Ark here at Refuge Ranch! I had no idea at the time how prophetically accurate that word was, but I was about to find out!
Immediately, I put in to go visit Noah, but here again red tape, moving at a snail's pace blocked my path. A frightened little boy was locked away with total strangers in unfamiliar settings, not hearing one familiar voice or seeing one familiar face for 2 ½ weeks, and I couldn't get to him! Father, here again, to an adult that would be horrifying! To a child? I cannot even imagine!
You'd been telling me that You were about to do a new thing (Isaiah 43: 18-19). Well, November 5, 2009, You did! At 11:00 a.m., I received a call from DFCS. The head guy had given permission for me to go see Noah. I said, "That's great!" Then the worker said that they had also given permission for us to adopt Noah. I replied something like, "He did? That's wonderful." Then they replied that there's just one hitch. I asked, "What is that?" The answer was, "It's a package deal. You'll have to take all five." (The birth mom was pregnant and they were anticipating having to remove that infant as well.) I didn't even hesitate! My immediate response was, "Okay!" I've often wondered if they offered us all five children to get me to shut up and quit bugging them. I am nothing if not persistent when one of my children is not safe. It didn't matter to me what their reasons. I was ecstatic! I cried, squealed, laughed and shook my head at Your amazing ways!
Two days later, Noah's CASA workers took me and his siblings to see him! Hallelujah! It was the first time I'd been around Janiah (2), for any length of time, and I'd only held her once. At VBS, Noah had come to me, nearly dragging her, wanting to show off his baby sister. Even at the time, I had a strange thought that he was offering her to me, trying to get me to want her, so I'd want to adopt him. It's so strange that the children knew what You were doing, Father, before I did. But back to the visit day, Janiah started clinging to me. Now Janiah, is very shy, and doesn't go to strangers at all. The CASA workers begin to raise their eyebrows and wonder what You were doing.
When we arrived, Noah's face was priceless! So many mixed emotions--relief, joy, fear, hope and doubt all filtered across his little face as tears filled his eyes. I held him and hugged him so tight, fighting tears myself. But the worst was yet to come! We played and shared gifts that we'd brought, laughed and talked. He shared the horrors of bathing while the older boys in the cottage would put bars of soap in socks and hit him through the shower curtain. He told of the nights of crying and of being so afraid. He was the youngest in the cottage and most of the others were teens with really rough records already.. Fear was his constant companion!
Then came the part that I didn't think I'd live through--the leaving! Noah latched on to me and started begging me not to leave him, to take him with me. Then he looked up at me and said, "You've adopted all those other children. Adopt me, please?" DFCS had not given me permission to let the children know yet what was going on, so all I could do was holler for the CASA worker, who tactfully changed the subject.
Leaving Noah there was harder than leaving Anna and her siblings in Texas when we went to visit them the first time, and I thought that would kill me! But Your grace was sufficient again! Little Daniel wanted me to sit in the back with him as we traveled home. With him on one side and Menorah on the other, I tried valiantly to cheer them up. When I got in my van at Rhine, I went to pieces! I couldn't stop squalling.
One of the things I absolutely hate about DFCS is the predictable slowness at which they work. Lord, You know it's not the caseworker's fault. Most of the ones that I've worked with are just as frustrated as myself with all the bureaucratic red tape and the paperwork that has to be done five times over in triplicate! So here we were again, playing the age old game of "hurry up and wait!" And in the mean time trying to keep a nine year old little boy encouraged to continue hoping when there seemed no hope!
Pregnancies are wearying at times even in the best circumstances. Being pregnant with five and waiting for delivery. . . well, let's just say it's a long wait! But as with natural pregnancies, spiritual pregnancies don't last forever either. The Monday after Christmas, the delivery began! The DFCS worker called and said, "I have a little bit of good news. Are you ready for Noah to come home?" Yes, oh Yes! I started getting everything ready. As she was on her way to the children's home to get Noah's stuff, she called me back with another question. She wanted to know if I had a crib. She said that the baby would be coming that week, because a c-section was scheduled for the next morning. I jumped up and down, squealing with joy. I was so excited and so overcome with Your awesomeness. You had said "a suddenly," and it definitely was!
Late that afternoon, I went to McRae to pick up Noah! The worker handed me a sack. Puzzled I asked, "What's this?" They were Noah's meds. I knew he was medicated, but until then I had no idea just how medicated! Oh well, the Lord would deal with that. I was getting to take my son home at last. It felt so good to say, "Noah, let's go home!" As I lay down that night, I was tired but almost euphoric with happiness.
On December 29th, 2009, Elijah was born. He was having mild withdrawals, but the doctor was ready to release him the next day. We picked him up at one and a half days old from the hospital. I felt like I was dreaming and tears kept coming to my eyes. I kept saying that You are incredible! He is beautiful! Thank You, Lord! Thank You, Lord!
We kept praying over him and by Friday You had delivered him from the withdrawals. Thank You, Lord! I had felt like You gave permission to breastfeed him like I did Gabriel. I was giving about ½ the amount of milk he needed and was supplementing the rest. He was thriving and doing so well. There were times that Satan would try to torment me with doubts of us not getting to keep him, but then You spoke. With Isaiah 65:18-19, You said that there would be "no more sounds of weeping . . . No cries of anguish." You had spoken! Elijah would not leave because I knew there was no way that he could leave without me weeping, and You'd said I wouldn't!
Billy and I have caught a lot of criticism and a lot of kidding because of our ages. Many have wanted to know if we could count! Yes, we still can add 51 and 18. Most people don't start over with a newborn at age 51! Well, we aren't most people.. We're Your people, and we choose to obey You! We know without any doubt that the placement of these children was You and You only, so we are at peace about it and just enjoy the journey. And what a journey it is!
On January 19th, 2010, the other three siblings came home: Menorah (10), Daniel (who turned 7 the next day), and Janiah (2). At last, they were all together. I was so ecstatic, but I rapidly became walking exhaustion for about three months! You had warned me in November 2009, with Isaiah 43: 1-7, "Don't be afraid. . . When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. . . " Most days I definitely felt over my head, but You are always faithful!
My milk for the baby had decreased and I was so tired I couldn't figure out why. My pediatrician explained it to me this way, "Bonnie, you just got three more children! That's enough extra stress to decrease anyone's milk flow. I kept trying to breastfeed Elijah until he was three months old and finally decided to quit. It grieved me, but my doctor had also admonished me to stop trying to do everything myself and to let the teenage girls help. So I did, and I began to get more rest. Billy also began to do something that I still can't hardly believe. He started cooking! His culinary skills have been a huge blessing.
God has worked so many miracles in these children's lives. Noah and Daniel are not taking any medications at all! Praise God! Menorah is so peaceful to have her family complete with a mama and daddy! Janiah is blossoming out of her extreme shyness! And Elijah, for whom life with us is all he's ever known, is the apple of everyone's eye. A few weeks ago, a lady, who had heard about us and wanted to meet me, came for a visit. She works with foster children every day at her job. After visiting with us for a while, she said that she didn't mean to take anything away from me and the work I do, but 'THIS IS GOD!" My spirit rejoiced! That's exactly what I want people to see and say! You are to be glorified Lord, just You!
Lord, there's so much going on with the ministry right now. It seems like the work load is on overload and is never-ending. I am so passionate about wanting to teach others how to minister emotional healing, by the power of Your Blood, to the broken lives of wounded children. You are opening so many doors. Give me the grace to walk through them as You ordain. Father, I don't want to miss You in any way. I am desperate to do Your will! Lead on my Lord! Lead on!
Your willing daughter, Bonnie Walker."
Bonnie's vision is that every child in America receive a "forever family" and that the foster care system as we know it will be done away with. Her testimony is written as a prayer to the Lord.
To God, From Your Servant at Refuge Ranch
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Hello Father,
Well, on April 8th, You did it again! And I sound like the court official responding to our lawyer. When our lawyer said that she was there representing the Walkers for an adoption, the court official exclaimed, "Again?" Yes, again! One more time we finalized the adoption on four more little Walkers! One more time, we get to be called mama and daddy forever. One more time, four more children get the security of knowing that someone loves them enough to say, "I love you forever." "Adoption!" Such a precious word backed up by an eternity of Love! Abba, thank You for giving us Your heart about adoption. At 53, adopting a sibling group of four little ones, ages 3, 8, 10 and 11, [plus planning to adopt their baby brother, age 18 months, as soon as paperwork is completed] definitely wasn't on my agenda for my life, but I'm so glad that is was on Yours!
I have longed to tell their story, Your story, of their lives. So finally with new names and new birth certificates on the way, You can receive the Glory and Honor that's due you for Your miraculous workings.
Oh Father, where do I even begin? I guess at the beginning would be the best place. I remember 2005, Billy and I had semi-retired. The only reason that we wouldn't say we're finished is because You had given me a Scripture several times that there were yet seven to inherit the land. At this point in my life, I was open to having misunderstood You about exactly what that meant. No longer baby crazy, and somewhat weary, retirement seemed the way the wind was blowing. Oh how You must have laughed!
October 2008 I am teaching Worshipping Warriors (children's church) and in walk these two adorable little boys, Noah (8) and Daniel (6) who had just been placed in foster care for the 2nd time. My heart went out to these two little fellas and I began to shower them with love. But even I did not know that You had just introduced me to two of my new sons!
In December, the boys were returned to the biological parents. I missed them, was mad at the system that would return helpless children to such an environment, but resigned myself that there was nothing I could do. Then the first week in January, they were back in foster care and attending church again. Or at least they were sort of back! It took me the whole class period to coax just a partial smile out of Daniel. Both the boys were extremely traumatized and I wanted to choke the bureaucratic monster that allowed precious children to be so repeatedly mistreated!
Father, I remember that day so well! I had been fighting back tears all the way through class. Afterwards, I managed to get in the van before I burst into tears! Billy, not having any idea what had been going on asked, "What is it?" I blurted out, "I want those boys!" Then I explained how hurt and damaged they were and I couldn't stop crying. Noah and Daniel already had issues and behavioral struggles previously, but now everything was compounded several times over!
In March 2009, You added another piece to the puzzle. Older sister, sweet Menorah (9), was also placed in foster care and she too became very attached to me. Every service at church when the children were dismissed for children's church, I'd leave out of the sanctuary with Menorah under one arm and Noah under the other arm. I loved them so much, but still didn't know what You had planned. It's funny now, looking back. In my semi-retired state, I was very slow to read the writing on the wall. Usually, I always know way ahead of time when You're sending children! Not this time!
The boys continued to struggle emotionally. I didn't find out until later that Noah's biggest problem was going to parental visits, sitting in a room, roughly 8 x 10 foot in size, with the man that used to beat him sitting in the same room! Father, I just don't get it! No one would make an adult repeatedly stay in that close proximity with their abuser, yet our system requires it of a innocent child! Something is wrong with that equation! Something is very wrong!
Summer came and VBS arrived. One day while we were playing games outside, Menorah came over and sat with me. She looked at me and said, "I wish I could live at your house!" Even this I down played, assuring her that she probably wouldn't like it because my children have to work. She replied, "I'll work!" It still hadn't hit me, even then, what You were up to, Father. But I'm so thankful that Holy Spirit didn't stop talking!
In September of 2009, after class Noah walked up to me, wrapped his arms around my waist, looked up in my face and said, "I wish you were my mama!" My heart skipped a beat! Lord, what are You doing? By October, there was talk of removing Noah from the foster home and placing him in a children's group home. His behavior was progressively deteriorating and the foster mom couldn't handle any more. I immediately asked Billy if we could we get him, so at least he'd be close to his other siblings and get to see them at church. One of our passions has always been to keep siblings together as much as possible. This was possible! I called DFCS and put in our request. We began to get the usual runaround. Are you licensed? No, you have too many children under the age of 16, and the list went on and on. I was not deterred! I had been around, over, and through that bureaucratic mountain on more than one occasion. I have seen You work so many amazing miracles on behalf of children that no red tape was going to stop me from saving that precious little boy!
Well, the devil ain't no dummy. He saw Noah was about to be rescued, and he reared his ugly head. The next day, Noah had a melt down at school. He got upset and pitched a fit. Now, Lord, I know something needed doing, but I strongly disagree with what was done. The school called the police or DFCS. I've never been clear on who called whom, but the result was that an eight year old, terrified little boy was put in the back seat of a police car, and taken to DFCS! DFCS called the foster mom to bring his things and he was immediately transported to a children's group home one and a half hours away! He wasn't even allowed to say goodbye to his siblings!
You talk about a mad mama tiger, but I was furious and determined! I called DFCS the next morning and told them we'd do whatever it took to get Noah. Everyone was saying that it couldn't be done! I wrote in my journal to You, "Show them what You can do!" I cried, prayed, and could hardly sleep. I called everyone from here to the governor's mansion, and the whole time I kept seeing Noah's precious little face, afraid and crying.
Three days later, I had my word from You and confirmation! You let me know that You were on the way to help. Then you gave me Isaiah 54:2-4 again, telling me to "enlarge my tent." Father, I should have kept a record of the number of times You've used that verse to let me know more children were coming. Through a prophesy You informed me that there was no Plan B. . . that I was Your Plan A for Noah's life. With Joshua 3:5, You said, "Sanctify yourselves. Tomorrow God will work miracle-wonders among you." But still, I was tormented with some doubts and fears.
As I shared these concerns with a friend, they replied, "Bonnie, you have always gone straight into the Heavens, heard from God and not cared what anybody else said, ignoring the natural realm! You can't start operating out of fear and doubts now." Then they shared this revelation about Noah and his siblings that God had given during prayer. Noah in the Bible built an ark (a Refuge) for the saving of not just himself but his family. And that my Noah would pave the way for the other siblings to come to the Ark here at Refuge Ranch! I had no idea at the time how prophetically accurate that word was, but I was about to find out!
Immediately, I put in to go visit Noah, but here again red tape, moving at a snail's pace blocked my path. A frightened little boy was locked away with total strangers in unfamiliar settings, not hearing one familiar voice or seeing one familiar face for 2 ½ weeks, and I couldn't get to him! Father, here again, to an adult that would be horrifying! To a child? I cannot even imagine!
You'd been telling me that You were about to do a new thing (Isaiah 43: 18-19). Well, November 5, 2009, You did! At 11:00 a.m., I received a call from DFCS. The head guy had given permission for me to go see Noah. I said, "That's great!" Then the worker said that they had also given permission for us to adopt Noah. I replied something like, "He did? That's wonderful." Then they replied that there's just one hitch. I asked, "What is that?" The answer was, "It's a package deal. You'll have to take all five." (The birth mom was pregnant and they were anticipating having to remove that infant as well.) I didn't even hesitate! My immediate response was, "Okay!" I've often wondered if they offered us all five children to get me to shut up and quit bugging them. I am nothing if not persistent when one of my children is not safe. It didn't matter to me what their reasons. I was ecstatic! I cried, squealed, laughed and shook my head at Your amazing ways!
Two days later, Noah's CASA workers took me and his siblings to see him! Hallelujah! It was the first time I'd been around Janiah (2), for any length of time, and I'd only held her once. At VBS, Noah had come to me, nearly dragging her, wanting to show off his baby sister. Even at the time, I had a strange thought that he was offering her to me, trying to get me to want her, so I'd want to adopt him. It's so strange that the children knew what You were doing, Father, before I did. But back to the visit day, Janiah started clinging to me. Now Janiah, is very shy, and doesn't go to strangers at all. The CASA workers begin to raise their eyebrows and wonder what You were doing.
When we arrived, Noah's face was priceless! So many mixed emotions--relief, joy, fear, hope and doubt all filtered across his little face as tears filled his eyes. I held him and hugged him so tight, fighting tears myself. But the worst was yet to come! We played and shared gifts that we'd brought, laughed and talked. He shared the horrors of bathing while the older boys in the cottage would put bars of soap in socks and hit him through the shower curtain. He told of the nights of crying and of being so afraid. He was the youngest in the cottage and most of the others were teens with really rough records already.. Fear was his constant companion!
Then came the part that I didn't think I'd live through--the leaving! Noah latched on to me and started begging me not to leave him, to take him with me. Then he looked up at me and said, "You've adopted all those other children. Adopt me, please?" DFCS had not given me permission to let the children know yet what was going on, so all I could do was holler for the CASA worker, who tactfully changed the subject.
Leaving Noah there was harder than leaving Anna and her siblings in Texas when we went to visit them the first time, and I thought that would kill me! But Your grace was sufficient again! Little Daniel wanted me to sit in the back with him as we traveled home. With him on one side and Menorah on the other, I tried valiantly to cheer them up. When I got in my van at Rhine, I went to pieces! I couldn't stop squalling.
One of the things I absolutely hate about DFCS is the predictable slowness at which they work. Lord, You know it's not the caseworker's fault. Most of the ones that I've worked with are just as frustrated as myself with all the bureaucratic red tape and the paperwork that has to be done five times over in triplicate! So here we were again, playing the age old game of "hurry up and wait!" And in the mean time trying to keep a nine year old little boy encouraged to continue hoping when there seemed no hope!
Pregnancies are wearying at times even in the best circumstances. Being pregnant with five and waiting for delivery. . . well, let's just say it's a long wait! But as with natural pregnancies, spiritual pregnancies don't last forever either. The Monday after Christmas, the delivery began! The DFCS worker called and said, "I have a little bit of good news. Are you ready for Noah to come home?" Yes, oh Yes! I started getting everything ready. As she was on her way to the children's home to get Noah's stuff, she called me back with another question. She wanted to know if I had a crib. She said that the baby would be coming that week, because a c-section was scheduled for the next morning. I jumped up and down, squealing with joy. I was so excited and so overcome with Your awesomeness. You had said "a suddenly," and it definitely was!
Late that afternoon, I went to McRae to pick up Noah! The worker handed me a sack. Puzzled I asked, "What's this?" They were Noah's meds. I knew he was medicated, but until then I had no idea just how medicated! Oh well, the Lord would deal with that. I was getting to take my son home at last. It felt so good to say, "Noah, let's go home!" As I lay down that night, I was tired but almost euphoric with happiness.
On December 29th, 2009, Elijah was born. He was having mild withdrawals, but the doctor was ready to release him the next day. We picked him up at one and a half days old from the hospital. I felt like I was dreaming and tears kept coming to my eyes. I kept saying that You are incredible! He is beautiful! Thank You, Lord! Thank You, Lord!
We kept praying over him and by Friday You had delivered him from the withdrawals. Thank You, Lord! I had felt like You gave permission to breastfeed him like I did Gabriel. I was giving about ½ the amount of milk he needed and was supplementing the rest. He was thriving and doing so well. There were times that Satan would try to torment me with doubts of us not getting to keep him, but then You spoke. With Isaiah 65:18-19, You said that there would be "no more sounds of weeping . . . No cries of anguish." You had spoken! Elijah would not leave because I knew there was no way that he could leave without me weeping, and You'd said I wouldn't!
Billy and I have caught a lot of criticism and a lot of kidding because of our ages. Many have wanted to know if we could count! Yes, we still can add 51 and 18. Most people don't start over with a newborn at age 51! Well, we aren't most people.. We're Your people, and we choose to obey You! We know without any doubt that the placement of these children was You and You only, so we are at peace about it and just enjoy the journey. And what a journey it is!
On January 19th, 2010, the other three siblings came home: Menorah (10), Daniel (who turned 7 the next day), and Janiah (2). At last, they were all together. I was so ecstatic, but I rapidly became walking exhaustion for about three months! You had warned me in November 2009, with Isaiah 43: 1-7, "Don't be afraid. . . When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. . . " Most days I definitely felt over my head, but You are always faithful!
My milk for the baby had decreased and I was so tired I couldn't figure out why. My pediatrician explained it to me this way, "Bonnie, you just got three more children! That's enough extra stress to decrease anyone's milk flow. I kept trying to breastfeed Elijah until he was three months old and finally decided to quit. It grieved me, but my doctor had also admonished me to stop trying to do everything myself and to let the teenage girls help. So I did, and I began to get more rest. Billy also began to do something that I still can't hardly believe. He started cooking! His culinary skills have been a huge blessing.
God has worked so many miracles in these children's lives. Noah and Daniel are not taking any medications at all! Praise God! Menorah is so peaceful to have her family complete with a mama and daddy! Janiah is blossoming out of her extreme shyness! And Elijah, for whom life with us is all he's ever known, is the apple of everyone's eye. A few weeks ago, a lady, who had heard about us and wanted to meet me, came for a visit. She works with foster children every day at her job. After visiting with us for a while, she said that she didn't mean to take anything away from me and the work I do, but 'THIS IS GOD!" My spirit rejoiced! That's exactly what I want people to see and say! You are to be glorified Lord, just You!
Lord, there's so much going on with the ministry right now. It seems like the work load is on overload and is never-ending. I am so passionate about wanting to teach others how to minister emotional healing, by the power of Your Blood, to the broken lives of wounded children. You are opening so many doors. Give me the grace to walk through them as You ordain. Father, I don't want to miss You in any way. I am desperate to do Your will! Lead on my Lord! Lead on!
Your willing daughter, Bonnie Walker."
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1 comments:
wow, I love this post. thanks for sharing it.
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